"Passengers, Hold On!"

The Staten Island Ferry had a "hard landing" on Wednesday, July 1st. This time I was not on the 7:00 p.m. (or 6:45) ferry, but I was on the water. I was on a samba party boat. Interestingly enough, I was also on the water during the crash of 2003, in a water taxi from Jersey City coming back to Manhattan from visiting a client for work. It was very windy that day, so I thought the wind had blown the boat into the cement wall.

On Wednesday, 10-12 people suffered minor injuries, the worst being a dislocated elbow. How much do you want to bet the person with the dislocated elbow was on the stairs, flights, or landings while the boat was docking? $2.50.

The fact that the power can go out upon landing is a little scary, but since the last incident, it seems the SI ferry crew was very prepared and able to turn this into a very minor incident. My favorite coverage of the crash was from the New York Post article, mostly because they interviewed the snack vendor/barkeep, my new favorite guy on the ferry.

Another passenger interviewed said "A crew member came on the PA system about 25 seconds before impact and said, 'Passengers, hold on! Passengers, hold on!' " 25 seconds is a pretty good lead time to get yourself off the stairs and braced for impact. Good job, ferry crew.

The verdict: I'm still sitting on the main deck.

Cheers! Beers!

I've always known that you can purchase beer on the ferry. I've never tried it, until now.

I was impressed with the selection. I found the standard set of domestic cans: Budweiser, Miller Light, but there were plenty of bottles as well. Among them were Coronas, and I was pleasantly surprised to find a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale pressed against the glass. I think I also saw a Magic Hat hiding in there. Oh, Hey! Microbrews on the ferry!

Then came the dilemma. These guys are handing out hot pretzels, cookies, and cans of beer... so they aren't technically bartenders. Do I tip? I ask they guy who handed me the beer if he takes tips, and he said yes (duh), so I handed him a dollar.

I couldn't decide where to drink my beer. I'm more of a social drinker, so it felt a little weird to sit by myself, but I didn't see anyone I knew sitting around. I headed to my favorite peaceful spot, the main deck.

As I walked through the ferry, I noticed several other beer drinkers. They seemed to be in on some secret enlightenment: all of them happier and a little less distracted than the rest of us commuters. I spotted a young man drinking a super-sized Bud, with an empty seat next to him. Taking a chance with an uncharacteristically ballsy move, I asked if I could join him.

His name was Ron, and he works for a construction company, moving and setting up corporate offices for companies such as JP Morgan and Coach. I bet there's a whole lot of construction going on in the Bear Stearns and Lehman buildings with JP Morgan and Barclays moving in. Overall, a great first beer experience on the ferry. It's a community, really, and now I'm a part. Cheers!

Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain.

I don't remember it ever raning so much. I remember 2003 being very cold and rainy well into June, but it got warm and cleared up before the first day of summer. Summer starts tomorrow, and it's still raining and cold.

Rules of the Ferry

Here are the official rules of conduct for the Staten Island Ferry. I see violations of these rules on a daily basis. I'll keep a record of how many I see broken over the next week, and will type up a report. Y'all better behave.

1. No disorderly conduct or behavior that may be deemed unsafe or disruptive.
2. No littering - place all trash and garbage in the receptacles provided.
3. No spitting or creating of any other unsanitary condition.
4. Feeding of any animal within the ferry terminals and vessels is prohibited.
5. Lying down on seats and benches within the terminals and vessels is prohibited.
6. Smoking is prohibited onboard the vessels and within all enclosed spaces within the terminals. Smoking is allowed only in designated open areas within the terminal premises.
7. Distribution or posting of any literature or advertisements without a NYC DOT permit is prohibited.
8. Carrying of firearms or weapons within the terminals or on the ferries is prohibited.
9. No person shall skateboard, roller skate or ride a bicycle, scooter or any other vehicle or device (except a wheelchair required for transit) on or through any part of the terminals or ferries. Bicycles and non-motorized scooters must be walked through the terminals and ferries and board the vessel via the lower level.
10. Commercial use of video, photography or audio recording equipment without a NYC DOT permit is prohibited.
11. Playing any audible device without the use of earphones is prohibited. Audible devices include but are not limited to radios, game devices and audio/video playback devices.
12. Pets, other than service animals as defined by the American with Disabilities Act, are not allowed in the facilities and/or on the ferry boats, unless they are caged and/or muzzled.
13. Destruction, graffiti or marking of any facility or vessel is prohibited.
14. During an emergency all passengers shall follow the direction of NYC DOT facility personnel or vessel crew members.

After a week of observation, I'll propose a new set of rules that are more current, respecting your and your fellow passengers' right to a fun and safe ferry ride.

Slap-Dappy Hour on Public Transit

Nothing spells MisAdventure like leaving work early on a rainy Friday afternoon to hit up the happy hours that end before 7. Let's trace the path:

I had a very handy Metrocard, with at least a $12.00 balance. I hop on the A train at Fulton street, headed straight for West 4th to a nice little joint called Slane on MacDougal at Bleeker. Arriving minutes before my buddy (around 5:20 p.m.) I ordered one of the $3 apple martinis. Once she arrived, I ordered my 2nd. It's so easy to forget how deadly apple martinis are. Slane was uncrowded, so it was easy to snag a table at the bar. The bartender was friendly and pretty, and the college crowd I expected was sparse. We split a humus platter and took off for our next destination: Mercadity Grove.

Mercadity Grove (7th ave at Grove street) had 1/2 price margaritas and guacamole until 6:30. The place was completely empty except for the two of us. There was no bar area, just an empty dining room, and a whole crew of staff who stared at us disdainfully for only ordering the happy hour special. Good thing for the 2 martinis, 'cause I really didn't care. In hindsight, I should have ordered food. I'm too old to make the same stupid mistakes over again.

Next, we headed over to the East Village (via cab) to meet up with some friends. While waiting for a table, I had a coconut mojito. Amazing! Too bad I was too slap dappy to remember the name of the place. Here, we also thought it was a good idea to order 2 pitchers of sangria (3 more people joined). My buddy started to fall asleep at the table, so I started to head back home.

By now it had started to downpour. I remember the trusty M15 bus back form my days living in the LES, so I hopped on a bus. I get a text message from a new friend, time stamp 10:01 p.m. I managed to lose my Metrocard, so the poor bus driver was patient with me as I picked nickles out of my handbag until I reached the full $2, and then gave me a transfer ticket, which I crumbled in the back pocket my my jeans. "LAST STOP" what? I snapped out of it and scrambled to get off the bus. I was not at the ferry, but I was at the water. I stepped out into the rain, a giant mud puddle enveloping my white toes in flip flops. The bus drove away.

I stared at the East River. I looked to my right: Lights! A Bridge! It must be the Brooklyn Bridge! I' was not so far from the ferry after all. After a long trudge through the rain, my feet slip sliding out with every puddle, I end up at another bridge. What? THIS must be the Brooklyn Bridge then. The last was the Manhattan Bridge. Then came another bridge. That was the Brooklyn Bridge. I did finally make the 12:00 ferry, after a nearly 2 hour trudge down the East River.

I met a woman at the Manhattan Terminal who was drunker than I was, asking me for a quarter. I picked out some more nickels from my bag, and she told me I need to eat my leafy greens, and carrot juice. I was drunk enough that I told her about the Jack LaLanne juicer I bought during an infomercial one dismal Sunday...

It was still too early for the crazy drunk scene on the ferry. I had an uneventful ride home, and decided to catch a bus instead of trudging the 12 minutes home. I hiked enough for one day.

The Best Seats on the Boat

Where is the best place to sit on the ferry? It's a very important question, and the answer is based on a number of factors.

1) First and most importantly, you need to be positioned near the exit. Snagging a seat next the exit puts you in a good position to become the FPOF. Being the first person off the ferry (FPOF) is the most prestigious role you can attain as a ferry passenger. Unfortunately, because the position of FPOF of so coveted, you have to the one of the First People On the Ferry to get the best seats near the exit.

2) You want to sit facing the direction you are going. Most of the boats are so large that you don't even feel like you are moving so this positioning isn't so much for preventing queasiness. You want to make sure you are properly oriented when you look up from your book/iphone/fingernail clippers at the end of the line. Being properly oriented at docking is key for a shot at being FPOF.

3) Sit on the lowest (ground) level. These seats are most important for the trip from Staten Island to Manhattan. It saves you the hassle from braving the stairs/escalator with the crowd on the Manhattan side. It's also nice coming from Manhattan for a little peace and quiet. The value of these seats skyrocket during weekend trips. Tourists don't sit on the bottom level. Ditto for hyper kids with shrieky voices and clompy shoes.

4) Seats with an empty area next to them are also ideal. Choosing one of these seats guarantees you at least one side free of brushing up against strangers. However, make sure this seat is not next to the recycling bin. You'll be sorry when the can collectors come.

Whatever seat you chose, make sure to take in your surroundings. Enjoy it. It's free.

Commuting Shoes

I'm trying to find the ultimate pair of commuter shoes. Something I can walk in from my apartment to the ferry, and from the ferry to work, and back. They need to be ultra-comfortable without looking like granny's ortho-peds. I ordered a pair of black patent flats that looked super hot online only to find that they suuuckkked. I walked from the hallway to my cat's food dish and I already had blisters. My apartment ain't that big.

And what's the deal with all the shoes that look like this? Who has feet like that? Do they look awesome when you have them stretched over an actual foot? Because they look pretty terrifying on their own.